IELTS Essay
By Mr. Jeenn Lee Hsieh
圆形。定位。装配。
18句四段3-6-6-3
Introduction: beginning
1. Big cities often have big problems, with air pollution and traffic jam being high on the agenda.
2. In many of the world's largest cities, these two problems seem obviously related and actually join forces to become a common headache no less serious than other major issues ranging from unemployment to health care to organized crimes to lack of affordable public housing.
3. More than ever, this 21st century is witnessing an alarming fact that the majority of travel is by private car, posing a double challenge--road congestion and greenhouse gas emissions--which must demand both short-term and long-term solutions.
Body paragraph A: continuing
4. A long-term solution to such a challenge is to improve a city's mass transit system.
5. This is no easy solution because all public transit runs on infrastructure on roads on land or rails underground, and investments in transport infrastructure are high.
6. However, such investments will pay off eventually when people would prefer buses or subways rather than private automobiles.
7. Being faster and cheaper, modern public transit would no doubt be considered as a wise option for most people moving from place to place, leaving their cars at home.
8. Once improved, a city's mass transit would also make many people feel as if jobs were closer to home and shopping within walking distance.
9. It goes without saying that traffic congestion and air pollution in future cities would become problems of the past.
Body paragraph B: turning
10. On a short-term basis, no other measure can be more effective than discouraging private cars from invading the downtown districts.
11. To do that, a number of drastic and probably unpopular measures should be taken by city authorities concerned in the name of law and order.
12. Such measures may include phasing out aged cars and imposing higher tax on new ones in the hope that the rising number of automobiles could be curbed.
13. Furthermore, particularly on working days private cars, taxis and motorcycles should not be permitted to enter certain restricted urban areas on penalty of excessive fines.
14. On the contrary, cycling and walking should be encouraged on a large scale by keeping streets and roads safe from the threats by motor vehicles.
15. Last but not least, the government might go as far as artificially make prices of petroleum so expensive that half of gas stations in town might be put out of business.
Conclusion: closing
16. Probably, should a large city fail its long-term and short-term measures to solve the problems of air pollution and traffic congestion, there would be no other alternative but observe World Car-free Day everyday of the year, and not particularly referring to September 22 on which motorists are supposed to give up their car for only a day.
17. In a number of urban places, the massive use of private cars is growing too big and too fast an issue for their governments to keep up.
18. Throughout history, the world has experienced various kinds of problems facing large cities, but there is nothing like the epidemic phenomenon of private cars as it is now.
Introduction: beginning
1. Big cities often have big problems, with air pollution and traffic jam being high on the agenda.
2. In many of the world's largest cities, these two problems seem obviously related and actually join forces to become a common headache no less serious than other major issues ranging from unemployment to health care to organized crimes to lack of affordable public housing.
3. More than ever, this 21st century is witnessing an alarming fact that the majority of travel is by private car, posing a double challenge--road congestion and greenhouse gas emissions--which must demand both short-term and long-term solutions.
Body paragraph A: continuing
4. A long-term solution to such a challenge is to improve a city's mass transit system.
5. This is no easy solution because all public transit runs on infrastructure on roads on land or rails underground, and investments in transport infrastructure are high.
6. However, such investments will pay off eventually when people would prefer buses or subways rather than private automobiles.
7. Being faster and cheaper, modern public transit would no doubt be considered as a wise option for most people moving from place to place, leaving their cars at home.
8. Once improved, a city's mass transit would also make many people feel as if jobs were closer to home and shopping within walking distance.
9. It goes without saying that traffic congestion and air pollution in future cities would become problems of the past.
Body paragraph B: turning
10. On a short-term basis, no other measure can be more effective than discouraging private cars from invading the downtown districts.
11. To do that, a number of drastic and probably unpopular measures should be taken by city authorities concerned in the name of law and order.
12. Such measures may include phasing out aged cars and imposing higher tax on new ones in the hope that the rising number of automobiles could be curbed.
13. Furthermore, particularly on working days private cars, taxis and motorcycles should not be permitted to enter certain restricted urban areas on penalty of excessive fines.
14. On the contrary, cycling and walking should be encouraged on a large scale by keeping streets and roads safe from the threats by motor vehicles.
15. Last but not least, the government might go as far as artificially make prices of petroleum so expensive that half of gas stations in town might be put out of business.
Conclusion: closing
16. Probably, should a large city fail its long-term and short-term measures to solve the problems of air pollution and traffic congestion, there would be no other alternative but observe World Car-free Day everyday of the year, and not particularly referring to September 22 on which motorists are supposed to give up their car for only a day.
17. In a number of urban places, the massive use of private cars is growing too big and too fast an issue for their governments to keep up.
18. Throughout history, the world has experienced various kinds of problems facing large cities, but there is nothing like the epidemic phenomenon of private cars as it is now.
Writer's Note:
1。圆形逻辑--前后连贯。主题有焦点。(well-focused in thesis)
2。定位四段--起承转合。结构有组织。(well-organized in structure)
3。装配18句--三六六三。内容有支持。(well-supported in content)
1。圆形逻辑--前后连贯。主题有焦点。(well-focused in thesis)
2。定位四段--起承转合。结构有组织。(well-organized in structure)
3。装配18句--三六六三。内容有支持。(well-supported in content)
>Beginning: Introduction (from general to specific)
1=18. stating your thesis to answer the essay question
2=17. narrowing your thesis to a focus
3=16=4+10. dividing the focus into point A and point B as topic sentences for body A and body B, respectively
>Continuing: Body A (from sentence No. 3, point A)
4. topic sentence A, followed by reasons, examples and details (RED) in sentences 5-6-7-8-9 being developed as relevant evidence to to prove point A
5. RED
6. RED
7. RED
8. RED
9. RED
>Turning: Body B (from sentence No. 3, point B)
10. topic sentence B, followed by reasons, examples and details (RED) in sentences 11-12-13-14-15 being developed as relevant evidence to to prove point B
11. RED
12. RED
13. RED
14. RED
15. RED
>Closing: Conclusion (from specific to general)
16=3=4+10. combining point A and point B into the focus
17=2. widening the focus to the thesis
18=1. restating the thesis
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