作文点评：如何冲击雅思8分(V117)

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习作：天津YUAN LIU
V117 some people think that children should learn to compete in the world, but others think the children should be taught to cooperate so as to become more useful to society. State your reasons from both sides and give your own opinion.

As a famous saying goes ：competition is a part of human nature. We were born for competition in natural selection. Of course, cooperation has become a growing tendency as a result of globalization. Therefore, as for children's education, personally, I think both competition and cooperation hold equal importance.

We always compete with each other consciously or unconsciously. Companies strive for a larger scale of production and a higher profit, （；）students work diligently for top grades or chance to enter a key university, （；）parents spur their children to be outstanding among their peers and every one of us are （is）eager for success or at least a good standard of life.

Cooperation usually comes up with competition. Two individuals can obtain much more than they could do separately. For example, Yao Ming is a genius basketball player, but he has never made the Houston Rockets as champion by himself. As a dominant player, he still has to score his points with the assistance from his teammates. Furthermore, these years, Japanese government has organized a project called outdoors survival annually in order to encourage the teenagers to learn cohesion and teamwork which , they regard, will benefit a lot.

In a word, both competition and cooperation are common elements in our social life and we'd better make good use of them accordingly. It seems that rational competition and cooperative consciousness may fix our children very well in future society.

得分：7分
语言表达能力强，文章的可读性高，内容翔实，极少语法错误，文章结构完整连贯，论据逻辑支持有力，观点明确，250字以上。
以上几个方面缺一都无法得标准的7分。此作者若想冲击8分，则尚有一段距离，expressions、vocabulary和分析力度都须再上一层次。例如，

BODY1结尾加上：Competition pervades every corner of school as well as society. As a consequence, learning how to compete with others can help
children adapt themselves quickly to leading a normal social life after graduation.(又回应了TOPIC)